tim minchin on atheism and the after-life

...I have one life and it’s short and unimportant.

Do you feel that you are really just here for a moment and gone forever after that?

It’s not so much that I feel it that I know it. Our obsession with “surviving our own deaths”, as Dawkins says, is… er… I mean the very idea that it might not be the case just reeks so much of fantasy that it must be wrong.

But how people like you might live on is in your art: you create stuff…there is a feeling here, that, “I have created something here which is substantive and will tell people a little bit about who I am.”

It’s a lovely thought, and there’s no doubt that when people you love die, you take comfort in remembering the things they did. Whether they’re just making good porridge, whatever it is, whatever small things you will remember about them...and we can live for as long as those memories last in peoples’ minds.  But it’s sort of not of interest to me; “My legacy”. Even if you do live in the memories of a couple of generations, it’s so fleeting that it’s insignificant. But none of this is depressing. In fact it’s awe inspiringly awesome that this event has happened: one’s own existence; the idea that, after all this space, there’s you, and then there’s not you:  and you are faced with the question of how you are going to spend that time. It’s so much more profound than any hypothesis about some pathetic garden with unicorns and hugs that goes forever. People don’t even know how to spend their Saturday afternoons. What do I want with eternity?

(i have been digging around on http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/desert-island-discs/find-a-castaway and loving it. radio 4 you are a star.)

naughty.

oh tit biscuits, it has been a long time since i wrote anything. i guess i should apologise, but then again, i don't actually have an audience, so why would i waste my energy.

interesting things that have happened/ which have occurred to me:
1. i have actually read more books in the past 2 months than I read in my entire 4 year uni career. and it's fantastic.
2. things are really quite fabulous with my boyfriend.
3. i have a job which means i have money. unsurprisingly, this has not made me any happier.
4. i have extremely low self-confidence. as a result, if i don't have someone telling me i am doing a job well, i will literally resort to crying in toilets in self doubt and shame.
5. i discovered misfits. squeee.
6. it is winter now and apparently my ability to tolerate temperatures below 18 degrees has SEVERELY deteriorated. this is concerning.

hard wiring.

tonight i went to UoN's alumni lecture, on pre-natal nutrition and its permanent affects on weight and health throughout life. pretty interesting stuff.

anyway. much talk of the difficulty of dieting and the talk of food 'habits' as a type of addiction.

of course it's difficult to lose weight (and keep the weight off!), because it means changing just about everything to do with our lifestyle; being more active, eating more/ less regularly, drinking less, and, of course, changing the types of food we eat (which can mean massive changes in time management). for weight loss to be permanent, it needs to occur as part of a permanent lifestyle change. just a bit intimidating, yes?

all this made me think of other habits and addictions we can get wrapped up in, and sometimes not even see it. like an addiction to thinking negatively. similarly, conquering this habit requires all round changes in lifestyle...

brasov 2008.

success.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

things i want to buy when i have a job.

a massive landscape picture of something... so far I am thinking Kandinsky, maybe The White Border, to go above our bed, because the back wall is a little naked right now.

A new desk (especially if I get a PhD, which things don't roll off. because old school school writing desks may look kitsch, but they are actually a little annoying, unless you happen to be lucky enough to own non-circular pens.

MORE WEDGE BOOTS because it's technically autumn and you can never have too many boots. OH BOOTS I LOVE YOU.

a new TV, not because i'm a gadget junkie, but because i would like a TV which actually works, so I don't have to watch DVDs on my approx. 2" netbook.

stuff for painting, because i have never felt comfortable splashing out on it so i have always had F grade stuff, and i'm guessing, especially with brushes, you can tell the difference.

start saving for a ticket home for christmas.

hi.